Cory passed away. He was taken off life support due to lack of brain activity.

Cant believe that about two weeks before he was admitted to the hospital, we were joking around bout me going to the US and him sponsoring me to go there coz he misses me so much. And we were talking bout how old his dog, Buddy, was... And him confessing that he had a crush on me but didnt dare confront me... And how when i was in the US and got invited to this friends party and was feeling very left out coz i didnt know how to dance, and he offered to teach me how to dance and pulled me onto the dancefloor. how warm he was to me when everyone else were cold. oh i miss him. he always had that cheeky grin on his face... always full of mischief... i still remember the day when he piled soda cans in front of his frens door and waited for it to tumble into him when he opened the door.... the twinkle in his eyes when he retold the story over and over again... how he stood next to me temaning me when i went for this christian gathering thingy just to hear seth sing... how he requested to have a photo taken with me on his bday... all these felt like it was just yesterday... 

oh cory... why did u have to go lift weights? how i wish im in the US right now so that i can attend his funeral... the world is mourning for the loss of this wonderful guy... 

I love and miss you Cory... May you rest in peace and be happy at wherever u are right now... You will always be in my heart...

T_T

gah i hate LJ. since when backspacing when typing mid sentence will bring me back to the previous page wan? samore the restore draft feature damn FAIL man.

anywayz, i was saying that my exam is a week away and im doing anything and everything besides studying. this is like my final exam in malaysia liao lor. sigh.

________________

random:

"There is no goodbye, there is only love." -The Perfect Storm.

______________________

i had a horrible diarrhoea the night before last. it was so painful that i wished i was able to remove my stomach and throw it far far way from me. poh chai yun proved to be hopeless. coz my body was absorbing anything. i just kept purging and purging till there was  nothing left in me liao. it hurt so badly that i couldnt sleep and i kept sweating profusely throughout the night. it was pure torture man. i seriously thought i was gonna pass out and die due to dehydration and strengthlessness. the next day i didnt bother eating anything so i felt slightly better. then Mario came over to gimme his meds coz he had diarrhoea last few weeks and went to the doc. so i ate a few pieces of bread and downed the meds. god they were bitter. and it was torture eating coz i had zero appetite. but glad im ok and alive now. i seriously think that im gonna die of diarrhoea someday lor. my body is close to useless in fighting it. imagine, if some unfresh chilli sauce can cause me such pain, what if one day some strong bacteria comes by? it will just finish me off.

rant over.

the end.

Last saturday, my house at TTS got broken into. The glass beside the front door was broken and the handle was turned from the outside to gain entry to the house. Luckily a housemate of mine came back just in the nick of time, and the indian guy ran off with nothing. When I caught wind  of this, I was in Times Square with my baby sister. We were eating lunch when my housemate called me to inform me about the tragedy. I was naturally shocked coz i left my laptop in that house, thinking that it would be dangerous to bring it along with me to times square. But it turned out to be worse to leave it in that house. so i decided to drive all the way back to semenyih and take all my belongings back home to OUG with me. The very next day, my housemate called again and said the house was broken into again. This time there was nobody at home. So they ransacked the house, and managed to steal my friends digi cam. I am so glad that i decided to drive back and take my stuff back! If i had not, (due to laziness and petrol) my beloved lappy will be gone forever liao... T_T

so yes, after that , I stayed a night at gong gong's place while we decide on whether to continue staying in that cursed house. We unanimously decided that it is ok to move back in, (we all moved out to our friends houses in fear of them coming back) and so we did. We stayed the week and everything was fine.

Then came friday, the day when all my housemates will go home. So after the last one left, I packed my stuff, locked up the house, and as I was approaching the outside gate, there was this indian motorist riding to and fro in front of the house. He rode by the house for about 4 times, each time staring at the house or me, i wasnt sure coz it was too dark to tell. So i freaked out and called M, saying that theres a suspicious character riding to and fro in front of the house. He then said he will drive to my house and escort me back to his. So i agreed and hung up. Then the indian guy decided to turn the corner and disappear. So i quickly took the chance to unlock the gate, throw my stuff in my car, (it was outside the gate) and drove off as fast as i could. he scared the hell outta me.

as soon as i reached M's house, he asked me what happened and I told him. then after that, his best friend called and wanted to talk to me. she was like: why dont u tell ur parents what happened? they have the right to know. they deserve to know and what not. then after that she wanted to talk to M, so i gave the phone to her. then after he hung up, he came to the room and started lecturing me about how i should tell me parents about these kinda things, dont take things too lightly, what if something happens to you in our house? we must take responsibility. then i say: if i can gao dim these things myself, y must i tell them and let them worry? they will be so paranoid and ban me from coming to TTS like forever lor. then he was like: still!! u must tell them mar.. they are ur parents le!! they deserve to know! y dont u tell them? what if something really happens to u? then i say: then only tell lar. now tell also no use wat. what can they do but worry? nothing. so might as well just gao dim this myself, get my own solutions, and continue living my life lar. like that they dont have to worry, i dont have to suffer in life coz of their overprotectiveness. its a win win situation. but i guess ppl think differently lar. sigh.

so yes. i got yelled at by M who thinks im taking things too lightly. maybe he just doesnt want me staying in his house and intruding in his life. so i guess this will be the last time im staying here. i shall find some other alternative.

he has too many what ifs in his equation lar. what if they dont wanna stay in that house anymore? shouldnt u tell ur parents?
Ans: if they dont wanna stay there, i have 2 options: stay here in ur house, or go back to OUG.

what if we dont have a room for u here?
Ans: i will go back to OUG.

what if when u stay here something happened to u? then we will have to take responsibility.
Ans: no u dont have to. its not ur responsibility.

dont say that its not. if we take u in then u become our responsibility already.

sigh.

does this mean that he doesnt want the responsibility and doesnt want me to stay here?

man. life sucks.

omgomgomg!! prom is this sat!!! >< im so excited that i cant stay still in my seat rite now!!

i went to collect my wonderfully beloved dress on monday which i waited damn long for... and its so pretty!!!!!!! ( besides the fact that the tailor got the wrong shade of pink for the ribbons) I am very much in love with my new dress right now!!! >< right after i collected my dress, i dropped by at tammy's coz she agreed to lend me the accesories to go with the dress. (thanks again tammy!!! u're a life-saver!! ><) she also lent me a book with lotsa hairstyles for me to choose from... ^^ i still havent decided which one to go with tho... =\

today, i've decided that i cant live with that shade of pink, so i went about little semenyih to hunt for the right shade of pink. to my horror, the shops that the kind curtain shop owner recommended didnt sell any ribbons!! so i went on searching randomly and entering every cloth shop i see. after parking, entering, reversing, driving, and parking again, for like 8 times, i finally found a shop that sells pink ribbons!! the previous shops either had super thin ribbons which wont work, or they didnt have pink at all... =_=||| luckily this one had pink, (tho there was only two to choose from) i quickly bought it from her and left happily, thankful that i didnt have to spend longer on this little hunt of mine.

so i went back home, cut off the original ribbons, made my own, and sewed them back on again... now it looks so much better!!!! <3 now i have a whole roll of ribbon leftover and i dont know what to do with it. should i make roses for my shoes? would it be too much?? i seriously dont know... AND im supposed to be doing my Final Year Project, which is due on the 16th. AND my management report due on the 7th of april, AND my presentation on the 9th of April, AND Energy Management, AND... gah you get my drift...

oohhohhh!! and my uni has this little thingy that allows us to go watch the F1 at sepang for RM30 only!! (original price of tix are RM 500!!!!) Tower seats okay!!! so cool!!!! >< so of course i went ahead and got myself one... =P i'll be watching Button in his brand new Honda!!!!!!!! woohoooooo!!! >< its on sunday tho... oh did i mention that after prom, we're going to MOS? its included in our ticket.... so go only lar... =P plus i've never tried it b4, AND its non-smoking!! ^^ so i'll prolly be hung over the next morning and miss the bus to sepang... T_T i shall ask someone to wake me up just in case... XD

k lar... enough of highness liao!! i shall go do my FYP!! love yall!!! *muaxxxxxxxxxx* >< nitey nitez!!

I've been feeling lonesome
I'm down, don't know what to do
I let you lie to me
plant seeds inside
to see them grow
only to leave them to die

I learned my lesson
I won't be forgetting
I won't give my heart out
without suspecting
Why cry
Why cry
Why cry
For you

I've been lost and finding
out that I've been such a fool
You thought you'd stick around
Until the day you found
someone to make me obsolete

I learned my lesson
I won't be forgetting
I won't give my heart out
without suspecting
Why cry
Why cry
Why cry
Why cry
For you

The Panic Channel

over.

it was gong gong's bday yesterday... M and his housemates decided to throw a surprise bday party for him, but did not think of inviting me. i told him the night before that i was gonna be back in semenyih last nite liao. but i guess he forgot. sigh.

i just realised today that every single move i take, every little decision i make, will affect my future greatly...

for instance,
IF i hadnt gone for that surprise party, my current relationship would probably have not happened.
IF i hadnt put my display message in msn as what i did, i wouldnt have found out he felt the same way, and hence this relationship wouldnt have happened.
The little things that i oversee, things i dont think twice about, or take forgranted, or a decision i made rashly, would have totally changed my life if i hadnt done things the way i did. Now i look back, and i realise, wow... every little thing counts... if it hadnt been for that little thing, my life would have been totally different now...

man..... why do things strike me like that? its like all of a sudden u come to this enlightenment... that i never dwelled upon before....

and hor, this relationship of mine, very geng lar... i fell for him in a few days lor... can break record man...

its like, feb 11th, we were talking on msn and he was being all mushy and stuff.... then feb 12th i fell for him liao... then feb 13th he kinda confessed he liked me more than just friends... then vday he come with flower liao... walaoeh.... everything seriously like damn fast lor... then feb 17th i rejected A... then after that we together liao.... i seriously wonder if im rushing things lar... sighhhhhhhhhhh....

is it possible to love someone in such a short period of time? its literally days wan lor... gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh


nitez world.

My grandaunt passed away at 9am this morning... Liver cancer took her away... I feel so numb now... Cancer is evil... T_T

M and I went for Pink Panther 2 just now and Steve Martin was HILARIOUS!!!!!! I just love his moronic idiocy... XD

anywayz, we are very couply liao lar!!!! holding hands and all... >< the feeling is just so right.... ^^

now.... i have to break it to A that i cannot continue on with him liao..... T_T its gonna be so hard for me to put it in words that wont hurt him lorrrrrr.... i feel very bad lar..... sighhhh..... but im gonna do it!! >< im sorry A...

____________

mom wants me to go UK.... i am now contemplating coz of the recession... but if i go then i wont be able to see M so often liao.... and plus, i'll actually have to study for Masters which i would predict would extract the life outta me.

Module selection is still giving me a headache. stupid lecturers dunno how to allocate time slots wan. everything must clash together like hell. how to choose liddat? dumbness.

nitez world!

M called me and said he was outside my house!! So i went and opened the door for him. And there he was, with a single rose in one hand and a card in the other!! >< omgomgomg!!

so i invited him in and we talked for some time... then he say i can read the card... and it says:

"There's a saying, "Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together but to do so with all your heart." This rose that I'm giving you, speaks of love silently, in a language I hope your heart will understand."

*swoons*

then he was like: can you promise me nothing will happen between u and A tomorrow?

mannnn..... i never knew he can be so sweet wan lorrrrr.... ><

then we hugged and he left... i was so euphoric lar!!!!!! my heart was like beating a million beats a second and this silly smile was plastered on my face for so longggggg...... i was over the moon and words cannot describe what i was feeling at that moment lar.... ><

so yes.... M is leading currently.... and A is far far behind..... let's see what tomorrow brings!! >< ><

nitez world!! ^^

omg omg!! he likes me too!!!!!! he is M. how am i supposed to decide between the two of them? i like M more than A though... =\

help.

it was the nite of february 6th... or rather... early morning... when it happened...

i was invited to this surprise party of a friend who was turning 22. we prepared 22 cans of coke for him and lit candles on them. (this is coz he's a coke addict... like super wan...) then we had to protect the candles from being killed by the strong wind...

after yrs, the bday boy came. and we did the usual singing of bday songs and speeches... then, it was time for the truth or dare that we were supposed to prepare for him... so ok lor... ppl start asking him questions and making him do dares like push ups, chasing after dog, pole dancing, drinking a can of coke under 11 seconds, etc... it was all quite entertaining... then came the question: which girl do u like in uni? (or something of the sort la... cant remember liao...) then after some time, he mumbled my name... my reaction was super uncalled for lor... i was like: WHAT?!??!? i feel damn bad man now... T_T then the whole night i felt awkward as hell lor..... somemore i dino if he was for real wan or if he found a loophole in the question coz he asked the guy to repeat it...

so yalor.. i've been quite stressed for the past few days when i din hear anything from him since his bday... then when i open facebook today, i saw that got msg from him! he apologised and explained himself...

aih... i super confused with my own feelings now lor... i dunno what is what liao... i guess time will tell huh... see what he will do lar...

aiyah... i lazy to type more liao.... its like im too lazy to start a relationship after my last one lor... it takes up a lotta energy mannn...

end.

wooohooo!! last paper on monday!!!!!! but i dont understand a single thing the notes are trying to tell me!!!!! so so doomed!!!! waahaha!!!!! samore the assingment never passs up.... if cannot finish in time how? definite fail for this module....... fantastic lar.

ppl.... start digging a grave for me lar... im gonna need it soon.

the end.

i cant believe myself. the next paper is on monday and im bloody blogging after being on a hiatus for a million years. fantastic. this is my 3rd year now in this course, and this exam is like 35% of my whole final cert. so if i screw this up, i will be screwed forever... i would prolly not get a job and die of starvation due to poorness. and YET i am still so relaxed. wth is wrong with me? the first paper i had was predictable, but i know i didnt do too well in it coz i just wrote whatever that i had in my brain and totally ignoring what the question was asking me. but there is like a bit of relevance la.

im glad i seeked for help and ppl actually helped me. i dunno what'll happen if i was refused. i did not attend a single class for this subject lor. like for the entire sem la. oh wait, i did attend like a handful of them. but NOTHING entered my brain mind you. so those dont count. last night was the first time i actually touched this math subject. at 9 something pm. how great. the bloody exam is 2moro and im supposed to answer 4 questions and i know how to do a quarter of ONE question. and here i am typing away.

oh and not to mention i have one more assignment that i did not do. it is 25% of one module, and i did not bother. the deadline is whenever the lecturer hands in the final marks, so i guess i still have time after exam? since that module is the last one out of four. hmmm... maybe i'll attempt it after exams... or maybe i'll just go ahead and sing k and forget about it. gah. i'll decide on that day itself lar... still got like 9 days to go...

i am the worse case of procrastination and laziness put together that ever lived lar. no one i know is this bad. and this calm during exams. i keep saying im stressed to make myself believe that i actually am stressed but it never works. @#$%

__________________________

spaced out there. i've been doing this quite often... even during the paper that i took yesterday... =_=
___________________________

i somehow have recoiled into my shell... when im in this house... i only come out of my shell when im with ppl im super comfortable with... whats wrong with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee??????????????? *screams* when im with ppl that im not so comfortable with, i just wanna retreat to my room and stay stuck in there... gah my thoughts just rojak-ed themselves... dowan write liao...

the end.

im sorry for neglecting u for a million years my darling blog, but i've been terribly busy since i came back from the US.... i'm now drowning in a ton of courseworks!! and they are all overdue... T_T

but sadly for me, i cant resist.....







i cant believe im lusting after a case! god.... but its oh-so-pretty!!!! my urge of getting one is SO great!!! lucky they didnt design one for ipod touch.... or else i'll get one already for sure!!! but im secretly wishing that they WILL come up with it so i can make my ipod pretty!!!! ><

oh and the version they made for ipod touch not bad also....



the pink one so pretty right???? oh mannnn.... how come the dont come up with such things in malaysia??? i must freakin order one from the US and SHIP it here lar!!!! bloody.... !@#$%^&*   GAH!! why the hell must these ppl come up with this AFTER i fly back from US?!?!?! ish...


edit: i just found out that they're actually from hong kong..... yet ANOTHER place that i visited recently!! T_T

the dumb ass lecturers have decided that this sem, they would give us assignments till 2 weeks b4 exam...

so here i am, on the 21st of april, still trying to figure out how to get my friend to send me a copy of his coursework in order for me to copy from him so that i can hand it in and actually START studying for my exam... which is on the 2nd of MAY... yes ppl... n im gonna start studying from SCRATCH!! i know nought of what im gonna sit in less than 2 weeks time... AND im not the slightest bit worried about it. THATS how screwed i am.

and this exam is gonna determine how half of my cert is gonna turn out. whether im gonna get an ordinary degree or first class. fuck.

digressing, i now enjoy splurging!! which is a bad thing. but i feel very happy after that, although i will have to suffer through the weeks after due to poorness and inability to even afford my 3 basic meals.

let's see what i have splurged on for this month:

1. annual dinner dress (RM 939)
2. annual dinner shoes (RM 159)
3. accessories (i lost count) i buy every pair of earrings that i fall in love with. (which is quite a number)
4. clutch (which i dont need anymore) (RM 40)
5. body shop body spray (i bought 4 coz they're fuckin limited edition) (RM 160)
6. everyday heels (which i dont wear) (RM 40)
7.  spending on expensive  meals at various malls (avg RM 100 per meal)
8. im pretty sure i spent on some more things which i dont need but i cant remember what.
9. oh ya!! contacts!! (RM 70)
10. nail polish (everytime i pass by the face shop or elianto i get a few) (about RM 50)

gah... the weather's killing me n i dont feel like typing anymore...

oh n i somehow love the colour gold now... most of my new earrings are gold in colour... maybe i should just wear gold to my next annual dinner.... hehe!! ><

thats all for now peeps!! love u guys lots!! >< i will prolly not be blogging forever from now liao... coz after exams i will prolly go mad n go sing k and shop everyday, and then im gonna fly off to the US of A!!!! whee~~ n then i'll be gone for 4 months!!! wahahahahaha!!!! away from all the noise pollution at home.

oh ya, i forgot to mention, my mom twisted her foot 2 weeks back, and she is now more of a bitch than ever. she orders everyone around. irritates the world, and managed to make her relatives (ie me, my sis, dad, my grandparents, my aunts etc) hate her even more. i guess thats her goal in life. she even yells 10 times more than b4 her leg was broken. at least she is partially immobile now n wont be able to run after me when i run up the stairs and into the safety of my room.

tata!!

Instructions: remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.


1. When are you most happy?
when ppl are nice to me... =)

2. what is your dream career?
singing, without the paparazzis and tabloids hounding me...

3. if you were granted an ability, what will it be?
the ability to grant all wishes, including mine... ><

i dunno why would anyone name their band W.H.Y., but their singing quite nice lar... n they're quite cute... =) they sang at my frens church when i went for their friend's nite last friday... got a free poster and a pic with them... >< hehe!!



n hor, my friends church, City Harvest, very fun wan le!! they have their own lil rock band and they can actually sing wan lor!!! got one guys voice damnn nice wan le... >< n dey all damn hyper wan.. LoL... the last time i went to their church was for their lil play, (something like high school musical wan..) called SJC rocks. They all damn "ai yan" (love to act) wan lor!!! LoL.. even after the friggin thing ended, they still continue acting over there... XD damn funny people lar... n all very friendly wan... tho i duno all of them except my one fren, they dont make me feel left out wan lor... >< here are some pics from the play that i went for quite some time ago... XP



Skinny cheerleaders....


the main characters in the play...


the cute lead actor!! >< he very geng le... can actually cry at the right scenes wan lor!! orz

wahaha... later gonna go for jo's charity concert... cant believe im skipping class for no reason now... actually got lar... coz i wanted to sleep a lil longer... XP

thats all for now folks!! >< love u guys!! muaxxx!!! ^^

i finally got a present for gong gong liao!! >< at 1st wanted to get a bball for him wan... but another fren of his stole my idea... =( nvm nvm... got an ali's shirt for him... hehe!! duno y all the designs i chose all dun hav his size wan lor!! damn siented lar... all the super nice ones taken liao... left XL oni... =( but its ok!!! i found one that has his size... so im happy liao!!! but i think my other 2 frens who were following me around bushuang me liao... T_T

n i was so lucky that i din get clamped wen i stayed over at my frens place lor... =\ my other 2 frens kena clamped nicely.. n had to pay 20 bucks each to unclamp... dey somehow managed to haggle from 50 to 20... geng anot?!!? XD

ohoh...n today wen i woke up... there's this yellow solid thing that came outta my throat... hurt like mad lar!!! duno wat is it... den went to c doctor hor.... he say my throat "fa yan"... =_=" so gotta take some anti-biotics n vitamin c... aih.... de doctor damn weird le... ask him wat caused it he duno... ask him wat is it he duno oso... cacat... mich!!! next time u become my doctor kay?!?!? den i wont kena molested by stupiak doctors like him... he wanna check my heart beat hor, he ask me turn around and he put his arm around me to check wan... ish... duno he weird or he miang... =_="

anywayz, my throat damn pain liao lar... think its bleeding... T_T no mood to type liao... nite nite peeps... ZzzzzZZzz...